Friends who live in 'lala'land..need to be cooked! Haha..

Have you ever come across people who say things and do things that annoy you but later are oblivious to doing those things? I think they are in a world of their own. 'Crummy denialites' who go around being oblivious to the hurt they have caused, and when they feel like it, turn around and look suprised when people are not happy with them, unwilling to give in to them to return the 'pseudo'world they invented to the 'happy' world they desire.

Some of us are non-fighters. We give in to those around us whom we care for, and let the small things go by, without lashing at them, only because the truth is, people do make mistakes, even the best of us.

But what if these 'crummy denialites' do something of really irratating proportions, then go into prolonged obliviousness and then suddenly, out of the blue, demand that things get back to the way they were JUST because they want it to be, not willing to acknowledge that what they did to cause this uneasy situation is something terrible to begin with? Something that isnt forgivable easy? Do we retaliate with our arsennal of weapons of mass destruction, nuclear even, to gain control of a situation lost? And to what extent? Should we constantly be the first step, even after telling the other, or hinting, that all IS not well and they've done something wrong to cause this uneasiness?

When do we know to just let them be? And the hurt that their ignorance has caused? While they themselves, in blissfull ignorance, brand you as too sensitive and that what has happened CANNOT be faults of theirs in any way possible?

Its funny how this works. War on one side, and peace on the other? Is that how life is, sooner or later? Is this how things also are in Ellysium?

Well, as practical and forgiving as we are, practicality and forgiveness are gifts we should save for loved ones, who have in the past, proved time and time again, that they are wonderful people who have made our world complete.

To those who border this reality, they should be so careful not to think they fall into this category and expect the perks too. How selfish can they be? Conveniently ignorant and hurtful and at the same time, put no effort into the resolution, but wanting complete forgiveness and life be 'rewinded' to that moment when all was hunky-dory..I like the audacity of hopers, such is the irony philosphy...

Why do you think they yearn this unfair outcome for themselves? Impregnable selfishness? Self centeredness of bastardly proportions? They think the world is their oyster or 'lala'? Ha ha..Think again..

I think deep down, they yearn the comforts of being in the company of people who do care, who put effort where effort was not expected of them, people who believe in living with as just and principled as the mind sees, and above all, sincereity.In a world built on lies and cheats, wouldnt you yearn the company of someone/s who are above all, never willing to compromise on goodness, and thus their existence around you is as true as you get? Lending meaning to the phrase, 'you are the friends you keep'?

Then someday, these very people, who exude sincerity and care without second thoughts, aid in making life seem right, and that your world is meaningful with people who DO care alot?

Sometimes, i think people like this shouldnt be accorded this luxury. Such relationships are works in progress, not sudden eruptions. They are that voice from the other end saying 'its ok' when 'its not okay'. They are the 'smiles' that come after the hurricane of problems that have ambushed us unexpectedly, and they pick up the pieces with us. They are proove that we are important in this life, thats why they are there for us. Should such luxuries be deserved by lesser mortals who take us for granted and are then oblivious about it, only to keep being oblivious about it? IS this fair?

Its funny how i relate this to a short line from Die Hard 4.0, where in one scene, the terorists show on TV, the line which sounds a little like this,' what if in an emergency, you call for help and help is not there?'....

God blesses us with people who are that voice of reason. They appear in our lifes, leave a mark and hide in the shadows, looking over us with their presence. In harms way, they shine for us. In troubles, they hold our hands. Even if Armageddon is minutes away, they text us saying goodbye and they miss us. To me, no gift in this world, beats having a friend like that. And to take such people for granted when times are good, and leave them wondering what they did wrong, and then want things to get back to the way they were only to satisfy selfishness and ego, now thats a cardinal mistake, and in the realm of meanigful friendships, is punishable by Guillotine..To me at least..

If we spend time and effort investing in empty pursuits, why not, put a little effort and try and work on relationships that matter, people who do care for us in a world full of pretentious leeches who are just waiting to suck us dry and leave us to rot, people who wish us well, when they have no strengths left even..

Such a friendships take insurmountable effort and consistency..But in the end, we would have found, that pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow, after the rain...and that is what its all about..

Ode to my audience..

Its been a while, and i find myself this Sunday afternoon, in the company of the rain again and these two lizards who've made my home theirs. I havent been blogging for a while now, and reasons of which evade me. Alas, why not write a note of appreciation i thought, so i dedicate this entry to a dear person, my audience of 1.

Its a nice feeling indeed knowing that in this world of fast paced traffic and a constant need to prove oneself, there are people such as you, a dear person who takes time and cherishes the beauty of life and its intricasies. I've never met someone so in tune with their feelings such as yourself, who literally lives and let live. Work hard, love hard, be kind, be warm and be sincere your existence screams..

I thank God for bringing you in my live, and i thank you for making me belive in me, in what i am, in who i am, thanx to your outlook on life and the finer comodities you trade. You have restored my faith. Sometimes, we all need to hear things, and see things, and experience things, that make us believe that our existence is real, practical and true. We need to find someone, with impeccable standards, morals and principles, who believes in life more than what we have been 'trained' to think and expect. Thank you for being that proof.

You make a significant difference in the lifes of those around you. You embolden that goodness begets goodness, that kindness without concern of the effort involved is worldly and possible, that family and friends are indeed Godly blessing on earth worthy of efforts of such magnitude, it would make Mount Everest look like a really big Lemmington with tons of coconut, easily devourable..

I know it pains you now, to go through the thorny path you now have to traverse. Will the end of this path be laden with promises of happiness? I am sure it will be.

This walk you have to take is not one you walk alone dear, and that is a promise.

Hand in hand, we will brave this. Remember, you are special. You are adorable. You are unique. Thank you for being you, my dear friend... :)

Rainy duet

What a day its been. Lying comfortably in my Ecko Unlimited blue sweater, in the cosy comforts of home, with a chilly breeze and the hazy hills over the window pane. A good book in hand. The simple solitude..

Lets pray for whats important, for those who matter and for a better tomorrow.

Wish i had toasts with a yummy omelette (with chillies and onions), coupled with home made coffee and excellent banter company as accompaniment..now that would be truly,

a day in heaven..

Hope

I wish there were a simple way to explain things, and it not be complicated all the time. Can anything be simple anymore? I miss being a child, without worries, basking in ignorance. True to simplicity, all a child cares is whats on TV, whats for dinner and whats going to happen in school tomorrow +/- other things..

Have you ever felt that 'awareness' is really a curse? Awareness + a conscience = A horrible curse.When a person is aware of something, either by himself of after being pointed out by someone, and if conscience is also rife, how does one carry on,disregarding the new found awareness? The answer is, one cant.

Being strong is tiring. Being hopeful is tiring. Being caring is tiring. Being fair is tiring. Being truthful is tiring. Being consistent is tiring. Being non judgemental is tiring. Being sincere is tiring. Being unhippocritical is tiring. Hoping for hope is tiring. Alas, its tiring to be aware. Its lonely to be aware. Its lonely to be tired all the time. Its tiring to be lonely all the time. But isnt there supposed to be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Hopefully when the pot is found, gold has value, meaning.Please God let there be..

Who cares anyway. Oh wait, hope does not allow one to give up the search for meaning. But till what end? Hopeful a near end. No point finding the answers at a point of life where life itself is not livable. Please God let life make sence then..

Please God, let me have the strength to carry on the good fight, for me and the ones i care for. Please dont le me give up before the fight is won, and before the rays of heaven shine down on all of us..

Please God, forgive me for my ignorance, stupidity, assumptions and moments of weakness.

Please God, take care of all of us, of those i care for and me, from harm, from bad people, from difficulty, from suffering.

Please God, let hope be real, and guide us all, to a worthy, fulfilling end.

Please God dont give up on me and the ones i care for..

A colleague and friend has passed away a few days ago. Her youthful exuberance will always be remembered. Life is indeed short. Life is surely unpredictable. Lets make each day count. She made each day count, and when her time came, it made no sence.

Maybe our idea of time and HIS idea of time is different? Is it the quality vs quantity?

Maybe so. She so lived.

Like how Andy Dufreynne, from the 'Shawshank Redemption' once said,'If you're not busy living, you're busy dying'.

Lets get busy living. Its the living we can steer, the dying we leave to the powers that be.

Yee Hoon, I know you're in a better place. You were always a gentle, kind and cheerful person. You were always a humble and capable doctor.

God bless you wherever you are, and always look out for all of us okay.

Take care.

Even life has rules,it seems..

It makes sence to say, that if we spend time with a good book in hand,especially of the non-fiction genre, we are indeed not by ourselves, but literally, in the company of the author of the book in concern, in realtime. His views are our muse, albeit it has to be read, so the actuality is,reading keeps us in good company, if the author is someone respectable. Follow me so far..

More often than not, we constantly look for meaning and guidance from our own surroundings; family, friends, work, the market etc etc, but i should say,at the risk of sounding a little recluse, that good books are also a form of guidance, and not so much importance have been -placed on them. The reason i bring out this point is because i have just read this book, first published in 1978 by an eminent psychiatrist, M. Scott Peck, entitled ,'A Road Less Travelled', and the experience was enhilarating.

If felt as though the author was just by my side, bantering his views, and it was truly a joyful read, as true to the realm of psychiatry and its rules, life itself, actually, has rules. These rules are never taught to us, and most often than not, we are left by ourselves to make our own way,so to say, which is not a bad way to grow up. But what if, before heading out on this perilous journey, and making not only small harmless mistakes, but enormous mistakes of terrible proportions, we are told that there are some 'loose' rules that apply to life itself, to our family, to our friends, to ourselves, to love, to relationships and to God.

What if we have some guidance per se, before comitting ignorant errors and forming personalities so detrimental that they are irreversible?

If you have a chance to read this book, please do. It is a beautiful rendition of simple practical rules that would come in handy in our lives, and they make so much sence. I am not saying that, since i have now read this book, i am thus 'impearmeable' to correction, not that at all, all i am saying is that i am now humbled. Somethings i have believed in so dearly, so blindly, are so wrong, and others, things that i was never sure made sence, i do know now that there is someone out there who has the same opinions, and to me, that is such a relief.

I am so suprised that these 'rules' of life were around since the 70's (since this book was published first in 1978, and republished many times after that), that no one thought it important enough to share.Such a loss.

There is so much work to be done on a personal level, it is almost unbelivable.

I shall try and pen down a few things i felt were beautifully mentioned by Scott Peck, and i hope i in turn make sence. I will attempt to lift small poignant passages directly from his writing to avoid sending the wrong message across, and divide them accordingly. Let the revelations begin..

1. 'Life is difficult'. once we truly understand and accept it, then life is no longer difficult.The first of the 'Four Noble Truths' which Buddha was taught was 'Life is suffering'. Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life's problems. The 4 tools of discipline are delayed gratification, acceptance of responsibility, dedication to truth and balancing.

Delaying gratification : process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure of meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with.

2. Many people simply do not take the time necessary to solve many of life's intellectual, social or spiritual problems.Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit. This inclination to ignore problems is once again a simple manifestation of the unwillingness to delay gratification. Confronting problems is painful. To willingly confront a problem early, before we are forced to confront it by circumstances, means to put aside something pleasant or less painful for something more painful.

3. We must accept responsibility for a problem before we can solve it. We cannot solve a problem by saying 'its not my problem'.We cannot solve a problem by hoping someone else will solve it for us.The extent to which people will go psychologically to avoid assuming responsibility for personal problems, while always sad, is sometimes almost ludicrous.

4. The problem of distinguishing what we are and what we are not responsible for in this life is one of the greatest problems of human existence. It is never completely solved; for the entirety of our lives we must continually assess and reassess where our respobsibilities lie in the everchanging course of evets. Nor is this assessment and reassessment painless if performed adequately and conscientiously. To perform either process adequately, we must possess the willingness and the capacity to suffer continual self examination. It is only through a vast amount of experience and a lengthy and successful maturation that we gain the capacity to see the world and our place in it realisticaly, and thus enabled to realistically assess our responsibility for ourselves and the world.

5. The difficulty we have in accepting responsibility for our behaviour lies in the desire to avoid the pain of consequences of that behavior.

6. Truth is reality. Our view of reality is like a map with which we negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know how to get there. If the map is false and innacurate, we will generally be lost. The world itself is constantly changing. The biggest problem of map-making is not that we have to start from scratch, but that if our maps are to be accurate,we have to continually revise them.The process of making revisions, particularly major revisions, is painful, sometimes excruciatingly painful, and herein lies the major source of the many ills of mankind. (i think the author is implying that even our principles, born from our experiences, are not nearly perfect and they too need amendment from time to time, as we mature). The painful effort required seems frightening, almost overwhelming. What we do more often than not, and usually unconsicously, is to ignore the new information. Rather than try to change the map, an individual may try and destroy the new reality. Sadly, such a person may expend much more energy ultimately in defending an OUTMODED view of the world than would have been required to revise and correct in the first place.

7. Transference is that set of ways of perceiving and responding to the world which is developed in childhood and which is usually entirely appropriate to the childhood .Truth or reality is avoided when it is painful. We can revise our maps only when we have the discipline to overcome the pain.To have such discipline, we must be totally dedicated to the truth.This is to say that we must always hold truth, as best we can determine it, to be more important, more vital than our self interest, than our comfort.Conversely, we must always consider our personal discomfort relatively unimportant and, indeed ,even welcome it in the service of the search for truth.

8. A life of total dedication to the truth also means a life of willingness to be personally challenged. The only way that we can be certain that our map of reality is valid is to expose it to the criticism and challenge of other map makers. Otherwise we live in a closed system, within a bell jar. Yet because of the pain inherent in the process of revising our map of reality, we mostly seek to avoid or ward off any challenges to its validity.

9. The expression of opinions, feelings, ideas and even knowledge must be supressed from time to time in the course of human affairs. What rules, then, can one follow if one is dedicated to the truth?

a. Never speak falsehood.

b. Bear in mind that the act of witholding the truth is always potentially a lie,

and that in each instance in which the truth is witheld a significant moral

decision is required.

c. The decision to withold the truth should never be based on personal needs,

such as the need for power, a need to be liked or a need to protect one's

map from challenge.

d. The decision to withold the truth must always be entirely upon the needs

of the person or people from whom the truth is being witheld.

e. The assessment of another's needs is an act of responsibility which is so

complex that it can only be executed wisely when one operates with

genuine love for the other.

f. The primary factor in the assessment of another's needs is the assessment

of that person's capacity to utilize the truth for his or her own spiritual

growth.

g. In assessing the capacity of another to utilize the truth for personal

spiritual growth, it should be borne in mind that our tendency is generally

to underestimate rather than overestimate this capacity.

All this might seem like an extraordinary task, impossible to ever perfectly complete, a chronic and never ending burden, a real drag. And it is indeed a never ending burden of self discipline, which is why most people opt for a life of very limited honesty and openness and relative closedness, hiding themselves and their maps from the world. It is easier that way. Yet the rewards of the difficult life of honesty and dedication to the truth are more than commensurate with the demands. By virtue of the fact that their maps are continually being challenged, open people are continually growing people. Through their openness, they can establish and maintain intimate relationships far more effectively than more closed people. Becasue they never speak falsely they can be secure and proud in the knowledge that they have done nothing to contribute to the confusion of the world, but have served as sources of illumination and clarification. Finally, they are totally free to be. They are not burdened by any need to hide. And ultimately, they find that the energy required for self discipline of honesty is far less than the energy required for secretiveness.

10. It is necessary that the higher centers of our brain(judgement) be able to regulate and modulate the lower centers(emotion).To function successfully in our complex world it is necessary for us to possess the capacity not only to express our anger but also not to express it. Moreover, we must possess the capacity to express our anger in different ways. At times, for instance, it is necessary to express it after much deliberation and self-evaluation.

The ten points above are only merely small portions of Scott Pecks insights, and in his book, he includes true patient scenarios (as he is a psychiatrist by profession), to illustrate the concepts and the contex of his views. How fascinating!

A must read for those in search of meaning, of understanding, of love, of responsibility and above all, the search for answers to our subconscious deepest darkest confusions.

Goodday!

Musings of a 29 year old...

Wither the years as an innocent mind wandering through the abysmal world we call life, in search of meaning and answers. Every moment, we are faced with REAL situations requiring REAL foresight + REAL answers, leading to REAL repercussions..

I guess we all have lessons learnt through our lifes, and i would like to share mine. Some may say its total gibberish, and other may say they're 'pearls of wisdom', but to me, they are my opinions and musings, crafted from lifes very pits and challenges, and who knows, a 100 years later, maybe someone would find them 'moving' and put them in my memoirs..ha ha..

1. Living a life of principle and morale is tough, and most times, very lonely. Principles and morale are subjective, but right & wrong arent. If ones principles and morales are closely knit to the rights and wrongs of life, then we are not far off from living a life of truth and without hypocrisy. Inner peace matters...and well worth the sacrifice..

2. The lonely path stated above gets even lonelier as we age, when we realise we are more selective in the company we keep, as people who do not share similar belief and ideology of life as you, will eventually cause you to feel ridiculously uncomfortable in their company. The need for quality(good company) overshadows the need for quantity { large numbers of people around you all the time = No lonely Saturday nights ;) }, which negates the traditional cliche that 'company' = 'security'.

This is an offspring of loneliness as such, as we yearn true company, people who are true to you and to themselves, who have a heart, coupled with a fairly decent EQ & IQ..Do we make amends to our principles then? What then happens to feeling secure, being a part of something bigger than yourself and your beliefs? Inner peace takes time and thought....but well worth the sacrifice..

3. Principles are finite rules we slowly develop from the ongoing analysis of everything in our lifes + lessons thought from religious teachings(the basis being goodness). How sure that all our principles are flawless? Should we make levy for change and adaptation...Y..e..s, we must!..As we mature, our understanding changes, and thus, principles too will have to be 'updated' accordingly...

4. The search for answers, of understanding of our surroundings and of people is a noble pursuit, to me at least. Why? Assumptions and hypothesising, shown time and time again, are surely preludes to catastrophe, especially when it comes to issues of the heart, and of those who matter. I am sorry i ask reasons from you, you who i care for, but its ONLY so that i understand you better and be a better person around you. What other reason can there be?

How many times have you faced a situation, stemming from 'sitting by the sidelines' based on assumptions, without the incling to go the extra mile, and just ask whether he/she is ok? Whats so wrong in asking a dear person, ,'is everything okay? ', ,'do you need to talk'..or just take the time to tell the other,' everything will be allright in the end, just dont give up'...Is this so difficult, so wrong..are we intruding by taking the time to find out whats hurting those who we care the most? Sometimes, assuming all is fine and dandy can be disasterous. How could we possibly know the depth of pain and hurt another maybe suffering? We can only guess...and is guessing enough to lend a helping hand, to gauge the severity of the situation...I honestly dont think so, and if the person truly matters, we should willingly step down from our pedestal of bliss to help, if it means putting in time and effort thats not expected of you...

5. Its lonely being analytical all the time, for people literally do not enjoy the company of the voice of reason, so to speak, for they feel that the 'voice of reason' = 'voice thats never wrong'. NOT TRUE. The 'voice of reason' cares so much that they supercompute all their knowledge and ability to the sole purpose of helping the ones that matter, sifting thru all their experiences and acument, hoping to find a sensible answer to eleviate the burden of their loved ones, and if this makes them appear too sensible most times, it is not their intention at all, or to appear all knowing. They just care, period.

6. How far is the boundaries of care? To what lengths does one travel to proof beyond words that he does care? To lengths that would make another shudder in disbelief?...lengths that dont make sence?....lengths that raise doubts?...it doesnt matter. He believes in you, he believes in caring without tiring, he believes in a greater good, a 'nicer happy place' so to say without pretentiousness, and this belief can beckon infinite effort. The human spirit is limitless..With purpose, that P..U..R..E feeling that we're doing something good for someone we truly care for, and thats divine.....

7. Why is the best way always the tougher way? No victory is sweet without adversity, period. When a solution is too simple, with all outcomes laced in sugary detail, rest assured, something is amiss. Be wary, take time, and a solution will present itself. If its a pursuit worthy of blood, sweat and tears, whats there to compain?

8. The purest of intentions are sometimes the hardest to convey, but you MUST try..

9. The sincerest of intentions are sometimes the hardest to proof, but you MUST try..

10. The ones you love the most are sometimes the hardest to convince, but you MUST try..

11. The ones that make you appreciate life and give you the WILL to excel & the WILL to live, sometimes, can let you down so hard, it feels alike your whole world is caving in on you..But dont you give up just yet..That resolve to 'win' back the one we love,the ones we care, is in all of us and giving up is the EASY WAY OUT, but SURELY not the best. PERSEVERE, and you'll be suprised...

12. 1,000,000 rights still DOESNT make something right, period. Stick to your beliefs, principles, family and friends, and always seek to improve them & cherish them, as even when they are the most flawed, THEY are, ALL that which stand between you and a pretentious world waiting to suck you into their empty shells of daily monotony, a world void of passion and colour..p.s I also think that HE truly works his wonders through them too :)

13. LIVE & LOVE & CHERISH & CARE t..o..d..a..y, and tomorrow will fall into place. Waiting for TOMORROW, to fully live only then, DOES NOT befit squandering today of its riches and warmth. TOMORROW maybe too long to wait AND it may not be all that sugar and spice and everything nice..Why hold back from truly being the best we can be, for TOMORROW? For a tomorrow that holds not promise of perfection.I think,' TODAY WELL LIVED, IS A WINDOW OF WHAT LIES AHEAD TOMORROW'.

14. Saying thank you when its due, smiling when the world doesnt expect it, a friendly pat on the back, coffee breaks on a busy day, a honest compliment from time to time..WILL make a difference, and they go further than anything worldly. They require the least effort, at the oddest of hours & just a little foresight and thought..but..its worth it....

15. Always be kind when its not expected of you, you'll be suprised..

16. Always hold hurtful words till the moment of anger is over, and set it aside, you'll be suprised how delightful it is to not have to use them..for more often than not, we tend to hurt the ones we love and care the most for, just because they're around all the time to TAKE THE PUNISHMENTS by default.Remember, they have a softer heart, and thus need more tact on our part..

17. Always be respectful to those around you, irrespective of age and creed. Ever seen a little baby not smile at someone making a clown face, and the 'clown' not smile back and melt inside?

18. Always be honest, you'll be suprised how many people appreciate that..

19. Do what you say and say what you mean, you'll be suprised how far that goes in someone books, especially when crunch time comes..

20. Be true to the ones you love and care for, to your family, to God and to yourself. Dont waste life correcting wrongs that stem from selfishness and ignorance. Let it be a pleasant journey from the word go, with its ups and downs, like all things, in itself lessons in life that must happen for us to grow up..

You'll be suprised how easy it is to close your eyes at night, when you know you've been true, kind and honest to the ones who matter...

I wish..

1. People would reserve DOUBT & JUDGEMENT for the people around them that dont really matter.

2. People would accept that the ones they care for, who have proven time and time again, who ALWAYS have the others interests at heart { EVEN in odd / extremely 'doubtful' / easy to 'JUMP to wrong conclusion inducing' circumstances}, DO WHAT THEY DO WITH THE BELIEF that caring means we put the interests of those who matter ahead of our own...'TheIR best interest at heart' , true to the word...Its always easy to throw hurtful words, especially when one cannot fathom the idea that some people out there DO care to such extent that they HONESTLY stand in the line of fire for others...

3. People would sometimes accept that there IS such a thing as LOYALTY. The easy way out may not be the best in the long run, and perserverance is a challenge. It is always easy to abandon and flee at the sight of the first obstacle, and pretend that that WAS INDEED the right thing to do, but YOu know thats cowardice and sad..

4. People would have FAITH in the ones that care for them, enough to be OPEN MINDED to seemingly ridiculous assumptions as to why they did what they did, on a leap on faith, or IF REALLY doubt is RAISED, to ask for an explanation.

5. People would have the HEART to not persecute based on ASSUMPTIONS, no matter how TRUE the ASSUMPTIONS may APPEAR, because, nothing beats knowing for sure, and to know for sure, all one needs to do is ask.

6. People not take lightly the limitless capacity of the ones that care to prod along every minute of every hour of every day, HOPING & WISHING that the other has not got you all wrong, for even angels fall and may sometimes never get up again...

7. People would STOP being pretencious, for GODS sake, being pretencious is something you cannot HIDE from and if sticks out like a sore thumb!

8. People appreciate being on TIME.

9. People DO what they say they'd DO, and not constantly be COERSED / REMINDED to do so. We're all adults, be reasonable.

10. People wouldnt constantly put the ones that CARE for them on the SPOT at all times, and throw a fit at the slightest aberrancy. The hearts of the ones that care are more supple and demand more sensitivity.

11. People should stop being INDIFFERENT / CAREFREE when it comes to maintaining good friendship. Good things in life take effort to ignite, and more effort to maintain, but the outcome is PRICELESS.

12. People should make it a point to perform AT LEAST one RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS everyday, especially to the ones they care for, WHOLE HEARTEDLY, for kindness is the worldly deeds that bring out the human in all of us, and such deeds, albeit small in denominaton, ARE momentous in meaning & precious reminders that we matter after all.. ;)

13. People should MAKE CONSCIOUS MENTAL NOTES on the good things, the good people and the good deeds that come their way and not take for granted the ease in which they receive, but also the effort behind it, the thought behind it, the sincerity behind it and above all, the purity of it all.

14. People would just LIVE and not wait for a reason to LIVE.

15. People would just be KIND and not constantly justify why kindness is too sacred to be shared.

16. People would just be MORE FORGIVING and not keep old scores persistently and use & abuse them when they feel like it.

17. People should CHERISH the ones that care, be it family or friends in their own way and not leave them wondering whether they mean something and whether they're doing it all wrong.

18. People should not WAIT for a REASON, SEASON or LIFETIME to say or show they care. It only takes a split second (a smile perhaps), or minutes ( a friendly call perhaps), hours ( coffee break with loads of succulent choco moose perhaps) or loads of $$$ (a brand new car perhaps,*haha..just felt like breaking the seriousness of it all).

19. People should OPEN THEIR HEARTS and KEEP THEIR GUARDS MARGINALLY UP, not KEEP THEIR GUARDS FOREVER UP and CLOSE THEIR HEARTS for fear of being let down or dissapointed.

20. GOOD THINGS DONT COME EASY, NEITHER DO THEY COME WITH INSTRUCTION MANUALS. The ones that care or who you care about also can fall, can astray, can lose hope..not that they want to, but they too are humans. To be by their side when the storm hits and to wait it out with them, and not only share the sunny gleeful days, is what true relationships are made of..

I wish life glitters always, for you and I. ;)

.The end..

Our roles in life : Prospective vs Retrospective?

I had this really interesting chat last Saturday bout the whole concept of existence and the different roles we play, then the statement we are here for a 'reason, season, or a lifetime' came up all of a sudden, not by me, but by a member of the chat team. It had seems that due to our dear Miss Facebook and her lovely forward button, this saying had travelled the world.

Then THE question was posed, if indeed this statement holds true, do we fix our roles before jumping into a bond, or is it the other way round?

Let me explain, the questioner said this, if we predetermine that we will only be acquantainces/friends for a season, how much are we willing to do for this person, if our role is only limited by this statement?

The eternal question is, which came first, the 'egg or the chicken'..Similarly, are our roles predetermined, or does life itself, wonderfully lived thru struggles and heartaches = The final determinant?

The chat was underway, sleeves roled up, biceps flexed, lipsticks reapplied*(for females only okaay), curles straigtened, and hairs were made into buns :) What would the answer be? Some people would feel that this is an OPEN AND SHUT CASE, no need for elaboration..I say its the opposite of the chicken and egg dilemma..No end in sight, the chat was turning nasty..cups of coffee were added to the equation, hoping a quick answer would save the day...

Is it wrong of me to say that i believe we determine our roles only at the end of OUR journey..that we give it our all, be ourselves, offer kindness unconditionally, and see how far we go with one another, building strong bonds as we go along? Are we 'saving' the better qualities of ourselves ONLY for the ONE, and until that 'being' surfaces, we behave half heartedly,SAVING THE BEST OF OURSELVES, so as to NEATLY AND SYSTEMATICALLY ATTACK the ONE once the one when he/she is identified?

Is there a guarantee ALL THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT US PACKACGED NICELY AND MAILED TO 'THE ONE' GUARANTEES US CERTAINTY THAT 'THE ONE' WOULD LOVE US UNCONDITIONALLY?

IS THIS AN ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY?

I say nay!

If this were true, that this is the ONLY TRUE MEANS OF 100% SURITY OF GRAPSING MR/MS RIGHT, how much of ourselves do we keep tucked away till the day comes, if it does come, that we are acquainted with THE ONE?

Do we tuck away the best of ourselves, so much of ourselves, that it eats us up without knowing it...Becasue WE ARE TRICKED INTO FEELING so so so so UNMISTAKABLE, that when the certain someone comes along, our Pandoras box of self accumulated wealth will pour out with such VIGOR and CERTAINLY MESMERISE THE OTHER?

Or will it still not be enough, and we TUCK AWAY EVEN MORE, EATING UP MORE OF OURSELVES, TILL WE HAVE NOTHING MORE TO GIVE TO THE PRESENT, SAVING FOR OUR FUTURE?

WASTE AWAY OUR CURRENT LIFES FOR 'FUTURE INVESTMENTS'?

In the process, hide who we really are FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS, WHILE IT EATS US FROM THE INDSIDE FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS, all for the LEGENDARY NUMERO UNO, THE STUFF DREAMS ARE MADE OF.

My rationale, being unorthodox, drew doubtful looks from the crowd, and I was gunned down for failiing to comply. But am i all that wrong? What are we waiting for? Are we afraid we will get tired of being who we are when the TRUE MS/MR RIGHT comes along, THAT WE JUST CANNOT FOLLOW THROUGH ANYMORE? But if indeed the above statement IS true, our lifes should be preordained and everyone should come with a label on their foreheads saying 'short term friend','long term friend','enemy' or 'soulmate'..but we all know this isnt true. Shouldnt our destiny be determined at least after 3/4 of the journey or 3/4 of the effort, if indeed our intentions are pure?

Shouldnt a role be finalised retrospectively and not prospectively?

What say you to the idea, that based on OUR actions and personality, and our ENTWINED FATES, will the ROLE of the other be CLEARER..nothing is written yet, or even better, nothing is chiseled in our lifes and in our hearts, as yet, as its for US to decide by the day, everyday...Put a boy in an island alone and he is a survivor, put him in a field and he is an athlete..what happens when you put an 'athlete' on a 'island' and tell him ,'you're a athlete, behave as one? Expecting him to run lapses around the deserted island?.

Our roles change, courtesy of our surroundings,coupled with the need for us to be more than who we are, to be the pillar of support for those around us when support is needed and to be more than we could ever dream of! We are only limited by our lack of imagination, by our fears...

Let our actions, our care, our kindness, our charm, our honesty, our true self and by CIRCUMSTANCES..ONLY these + THE COURSE OF OUR LIFES = Be the determinants required to label someone, if he's a person who will last a season, or only for a reason, or more than that..NO ONE COMES WITH ONES ROLES PREFIXED AND HIS DESTINT PREORDAINED, or does he? It is your actions + thoughts + willingness to better ourselves that define us and our role, and as we evolve, so will our role..and thats what i'd like to call hope..We all have second chances....

Yes this is tiring, to be positive thru many, to be strong and be let down, to be happy and then deserted, to smile when there is no guarantees, but hey, isnt this what its all about..?

How would we feel if we went into housemanship and labels of our carrier be tattooed on our foreheads like lab rats, eg: U = PAEDIATRICIAN ,HE = OBSTETRICIAN, SHE = DUMBO CHRONIC MO, ME = ANESTHETIST.

I believe this, dont you?

Where is the freedom and joy in having a role preordained, and not subject to blossom from sheer passion, relentless drive, ambition and neverending effort?

I guess for me, Gilda Radner said it best (the top most caption)

It was an interesting Saturday after all....

The Philosophy of Malaysian Road Users..

I have been wondering for a long time now, what makes Malaysian road users who they are? I mean, from the little travel experience I have, there has not been such similarity in road ethics or the lack thereof,in other parts of the world, in us all, well most of us that is!

*Har har har...

I've some interesting ideas on the subject, what say you?

a. THE STARE vs THE FINGER :

Ever notice how, when you overtake someone, or you happen to drive slightly slower than the speed limit and someone cuts you off, they turn their heads in a almost 360 degree angle and STARE at you! I'm sure if they had daggers they'd throw em over too..It happens all the time and every single day, that i think it's inbuilt is most Malaysians. They would not mind speeding up, even missing their turn, just for the HECK of sending their STUPID UGLY FUCKED UP STARE your way OR their TINY SADLY MANICURED MIDDLE FINGER! LOSERS...

Combo package : The stare and the finger

(*graphical illutrations, the MORONS are ugglier)

Wonder why? Here's my theory.

These MORONS, or LOSERS have LOSER lifes. They get bullied at work, have really small KAHUNAS and get teased relentlessly from everyone, and then go home to a loser companion who also gives em crap.

So, they wait, like how a predator waits for its prey, and ta daaa..They use the ROADS to get even..Where else can they be FREE TO BE IN CONTROL than ON the streets, espcially if they're some buff dude with a tattoo 'TINY' on his arm! I'm sure THE ROADS are the last frontier that respect can be earned and people intimidated = source of pride and dignity for some. Such delusions!

The last frontier of respect?

STUPID LOSERS with a capital L.

Grow up SHITHEAD! No one cares about your loser life and what you have to do to redeem yourself, especially not on the streets. Stop endangering lifes of the innocent, and cause fear in others. Just bang your head against the wall if you need respite, OR, you could choose to grow up.

b. The ZEBRA CROSSING :

Ever wonder why when you attempt to cross a zebra crossing in Malaysia, a car, more than a mile away will speed up and try to KNOCK YOU DOWN? He wants to TEACH YOU A LESSON, NOT TO CROSS THE ROAD WHEN HE'S DRIVING! So what does the loser want you to do, FLY OVER HIM? Stupid clown with a capital C. How many people I have seen die a terrible death because some inconsiderate PUNK is speeding on the roads and cares NOT for the lives of man? TOO MANY.

c. The LAST MINUTE DASH :

Ever notice how there is always someone who would speed up at the very last moment when the traffic light is about to change to red or is red already, at the HIGH RISK of knocking down someone from the other way?

What is he thinking? STUPID LOSER. He S..E..R..I..O..U..S..L..Y.. thinks he's HAMILTON and could pull it off, without endangering lifes? REALLY STUPID LOSER, period. Why? To reach home 1.5 minutes earlier + say 'I DROVE LIKE F1 STYLE ON THE ROAD' (*misguided joys of the tiny brained).

How many deaths will it take to TEACH YOU A VALUABLE LESSON not to speed you moron! I have seen too many deaths already, from such circumstances that it is apalling. DESPICABLE. How many times you think I see people being brought in stretchers with their brains in a separate plastic bag, after being hit by such a person? TOO MANY.

Yippee kar yay! &^$^#$&^##@$^%(*))(*

Grow up, be safe and be kind on the roads.

PRECIOUS LIFES WILL BE SAVED, INCLUDING YOURS.

Whats wrong with this picture..

New world order. Thats what is needed badly. Maladjusted mindsets + traditional misconceptions are destroying meaningfulness. How I wish there truly was a MORAL compass with true DIVINE doctrine to guide the world we live in today to end all suffering. Its true.

Ask yourself, what ARE the obcessions of our society nowadays?

1.True or false?

Keys to success : A car, a good job, a house, 20 A1's in PMR, 30 A1's in SPM, straight A's in UNI, a hefty bank account, a wife, 3 kids, happy in-laws. That sums up society. Any absentees = crucifiction! And you ask why people these days are prone to suicide and depression, and in the process, lose the WILL to LIVE. How can we PUSH SO HARD?

Last year, a standard 6 girl hung herself because she did not do well in UPSR, and recently, a young girl jumped from her apartment because her mum scolded her for performing poorly in the recent school exams?

Late last year a young lady hung herself, at home after her fiance decided not to marry her at the very last minute, and she could not bear the shame of the whole incident and to face her familys judging eyes and cruel comments...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY & US? IS IT 'RIGHT' that these GRUESOME incidents should happen in todays world?

2. True or false?

Ask anyone on the street, who would they dream of being, and NO ONE would ever say MOTHER THERESA. Some would even ask MOTHER WHO? Volunteering, kindness, help for the needy, charity and compassion are all things we read in books and WILL NEVER be appreciated. Remember, its someone elses 'JOB'. Being kind and charitable are not TRENDY TRAITS, and would be forsaken at the drop of a hat for modern day luxuries.

3. True or false?

People close one eye to the suffering of others. Does the world really care there's an earthquake in China, a ravaging cyclone in Burma, famine in Euthopia, war in Iraq/ South Africa/ Burma/ Afganistan/ Pakistan. As long as we have 3-6 square meals in a day, a comfortable bed to sleep in, a good job and a predictably happy life, ITS SOMEONE elses 'JOB' to sort the problems around us, as we are too important to help out.

4. True or false?

Recently a poor girl had to suffer the embarassment and social humiliation when her husband of one night, after finding out she was not a virgin, went to court the very next day after their first night to ANULL the marriage?

What will happen to this poor girl? Would she not be CHASTISED by society for what her selfish idiotic 'husband' did? IS VIRGINITY THE SOLE MEASURE OF LOVE? And since she is NOT A VIRGIN, IS IT R..I..G..H..T TO HUMILIATE HER?!! Where did all the PROMISES + VOWS go to? THIN AIR!!?

I think the guy involved should have his OWN SELF CHECKED, as every MASTURBATORY MOMENT + WET DREAM would constitute he losing his virginity, or ESPECIALLY if he ever SLEPT with someone else, DARN 2-FACED IDIOTIC HYPOCRITICAL BASTARD..ARE YOU A VIRGIN YOURSELF BEFORE YOU DEMAND THAT OF YOUR WIFE? SEXIST BASTARDS!

So if you yourself are not a virgin, but your wife is, that's OKAY? Even if you have slept with countless women, and with societies misconception about women being virgins, IT IS NOT YOU WHO WOULD BE SHUNNED OR LAUGHED AT BY SOCIETY, BUT, IT IS THE POOR GIRL WHO WILL FACE A LIFETIME OF SHAME. What will happen to her now? So she deserves to be labelled and joked at and laughed at and spit on because of her past indiscretions, which may not EVEN have been intentional?

5. True or false?

Killings, murder, entrapment, rape, stealing and violence are increasing in number.

In AUSTRIA, a 'SICK BASTARD' man kept his daughter in a underground chamber for 24 years while raping her repeatedly + she bearing 7 of his children.

In BURMA, the now in power Junta army kill, rape and torture its people with no help in sight. Can you imagine a government who would KILL those who are caught watching watch RAMBO IV, because it depicts the violence that the Junta are notorious for?(true trivia)

In ROME (13/06/08), a family in southern Italy kept a woman locked in a room in their house for 18 years because they were angry she was pregnant out of wedlock.

In AFGANISTAN (14/06/08), a roadside bomb killed four U.S. Marines in Afghanistan.

In GAZA (14/06/08), 6 people were killed and more than 60 were injured Thursday when an explosion ripped through a senior Hamas commander's house.

In AUSTRALIA (2006), 3 men and 2 teenagers pleaded guilty to raping a10-year-old girl in an Outback community.

In IRAQ (June 2008), prominent tribal leaders, including the head of Saddam Hussein's Sunni tribe and 2 others who had been working for national reconciliation, were killed over the past 24 hours in northern Iraq.

In CHAD (June 2008), rebels on the offensive in east Chad on Saturday attacked a town ringed by refugee camps.

Havent we experienced enough suffering in the world, that NOT only does Mother nature have the right to tip the balance of nature, BUT , STUPID EVIL MEN HIDING BEHIND GUNS, BOMBS, TANKS, LAND MINES, and 'HOLY REASONS', also have the SAME POWER for carnage and abomination?

6. True or false?

Religion, instead of bridging our differences, is used to separate us further. In the name of upholding 'religion', wars are fought, people are oppressed, tortured and made to suffer, children are killed, the innocent are inprisoned, women are raped and abused and homes burnt. Does religion truly advice for such means to an end?

How come we have all sorts of congressess in the world, but none on religion. I think, to end this query of religious doubts, we should holD a 'WORLD CONGRESS OF RELIGIONS' and get at least the top 10 persons of each religion there is, including the POPE, all important ISLAMIC SCHOLARS and IMAMS, HINDU PRIESTS, BUDDHIST MONKS, SIKH CLERICS, BAHAI gurus and those who speak for the other religions, sit them in a room with loads of coffee and LOCK THEM UP, THROW AWAY THE KEYS, TILL they work out their differences and the DIFFERENCES of all religions, till there is ABOVE ALL, UNDERSTANDING.

I would tune in religiously, to see people with the caliber and knowledge such as that of Mr. Ahmed Deedat (God Rest His Soul) battle it out with Brother Swaggart with the POPE watching and answering in between, amidst hot debates between the ANCIENT HINDU BELIEFS AND BUDDHISTS, and the others religions of the world, with the GOAL of F..I..N..A..L..L..Y understanding EACH OTHERS RELIGION and reaching a DIVINE DOCTRINE OF UNITY between all religions....Is this so hard just to agree to agree or agree to disagree on points that have bewildered the different religions for centuries?

After which, ALL RELIGIONS, will FINALLY learn to work together. Would this be the resolution the world needs to seek religious 'closure' AND once and for all settle our differences? Why has this not been done YET? Hasnt the world existed for billions of years, what are we waiting for, for Superman to rebuild Krypton or for the Autobots to kiss and make up with the Deceptocon bums?

I WISH, before its too late, that there is change in the mindset of man. If man is unsure of what to do, why not ERR to the side of goodness and not darkness? Surely in goodness, no matter how obscure its meaning maybe, there in lies REDEMPTION and the promise of goodness is ETERNAL BLISS.

The day when we can all just p*** together and not compare sizes & shapes!

I believe, in life, no matter how confused we are on what next to do, who next to hurt or who next to help, as long as all our decisions have in it a surity that it is the right thing to do, we will not stray far from the divine path, which rewards all acts of GOODNESS.

If all our acts and thoughts are based on this notion, that the outsome must be 'TO DO GOOD', we have indeed already won.

Lets not give up yet. There's more to life than the picture painted by our IGNORANT society, impervious to change and adaptation, and blinded by shallow goals. There's more to life that a degree, a job, a car, a house and $$$. YES society has its markers of success, and surely those who have the above mentioned are GODS IN THE EYES OF MEN, but what differentiates you from the REST OF MANKIND?

Are these markers a measure of how wholesome you are, and when we reach the gates of heaven, WILL THESE ALONE speak for us and will our SOCIETY APPROVED MATERIALISTIC GAINS & THE RESPECT THAT IT generates be enough to secure a passage to the heavenly gardens? ONLY YOU can answer this question.

If indeed THESE ALONE are ENOUGH PROOF HOW 'HUMAN' WE ARE, I am SURE there would NOT be THE HOLY BIBLE, or the QURAN, or the vivid texts of the GITAS, for in replacement, the WORLD would be filled with ACCOUNT LEDGERS + BANK BOOKS + EXAM CERTS + A NICELY BOUNDED CURICULUM VITAE, waiting to impress GOD!

Whatver happened to the eternal bliss of finding true love,true joy, a world filled with peace & without suffering, ample kindness to go around , true friendships, honour, principles, respecting one another, charity, compassion for those less fortunate, a world without pretentiousness, a FAIR world, without OPPRESSION, and by far, but surely not least, a world existing as ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.

Are we measured by the right traits after all? Do WE OURSELVES see OURSELVES by the right light? Are OUR GOALS complete? Do we EVEN consider these notions worthy in the first place? Is it part of our daily lifes, in practise?

If we do not practise within our own lifes and within ourselves the above, who and what are we waiting for, really?

Think about this for one moment.

YOU decide for yourself.