An argument gone awry..a fitting end to 2008

I couldnt believe what i was listening to. I knew having long discussions with people are sometimes a waste of time. Its better having whole brainstorming sessions in ones head, figuring all possible retorts that the other may throw back at you, including the low blows, cause this lessens the pain. Wonder whether doing this is norm, or is it better to engage in verbal battle, expecting to come to a truce, before too much emotion comes in and makes everything look worse than it actually IS?...i wonder whats the best approach.

To NOT discuss could be misconstrued as 'How do you REALLY know that was what i was going to say? You think me so BAD?' + 'You didnt try hard enough to work things out'

VS.

To discuss = Full verbal and emotional tete-a-tete, could lead to (In the mind) 'SHIT, I knew i shouldnt have spoken out loud, who REALLY gives a shit bout honesty and truthfulness, its just gibberish people use to make them feel holier than thou and to seem civil'.

Its been many times, over the years in fact,that i have tried to find a common ground about the issue above, but to no avail,seriously. But only 2 days ago did i feel like i've had enough.ENOUGH of having to always GIVE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT whilst people step on you and drag you in the mud. MAKE you feel wrong when you're not, MAKE you feel like you've not put enough effort but when truthfully, u've put in more effort that truly your existence could put no more without losing it.

Its utter bullshit.

Its no wonder some people resort to anger. Some even cave in and hide behind the emotional-bunker of sudden solitude. I thinks its the subconscious telling FUCK OFF, if after many many many many many a time, that they've had to be the sacrificial lamb of the argument. How much giving in can one take? How much strength can one have? How much resolution can one have over principle overcoming adversity, that pushes a person to work tirelessly at salvage?

HOW MUCH?

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Too much tears, too much time, too much effort, too many promises, too many instances of NOT REALISING THE SACRIFICES OF OTHERS..JUST BASICALLY TOO MUCH IGNORANCE that it begs ANGER IN RETALIATION.

NO MORE living in the comfort of comfort, that there is another helping hand at all junctures. It takes effort, care, consistency, passion, principle and more effort to keep it alive. IT DOES.

ITS TIME YOU DID SOME THINKING OF YOUR OWN. FIND SOMEONE ELSE YOU CAN USE AND ABUSE, with no promise of anything. With no promise of even a decent friendship..WIth no promise of decency, of respect, of sincerity, of appreciation..

How long can you keep telling the other your stand? Must one be a constant reminder that one would like some care and concern handed to him from time to time..even a dog knows he's going to get a biscuit from time to time, even a dog..

When you step on a man too long, you awaken his angry side. His vengful side, and if that happens, do NOT expect kindness. You made HIM this way, you insensitive brute of a person...Its time you grew up to your ways..Its time..

It was a silly discussion. One should never have even had to speak of. I know you know what i mean. I am tired of having these talks. Tired. Find someone else to play dumb with. How could you say that of me? Me of all people.

I think civility, in all its glory can also fall, it has limits, even effort,formed from undying care and passion can be torn apart, and patience, one of the most precious of virtues, next to trust,can be broken forever.

Futile arguments with a careless person is a waste of effort, time and emotions. Thank you for showing me this.

Clint Eastwood said it best, with the poster above..this is the time...